While asking an online colleague of mine if he’d be interested in having his new YouTube video featured here (and to write a guest post about it), I came across a YouTube video that shows a pyramid made out of pennies being made step by step. It took over 300 hours to construct the pyramid, yet the video is less than 3 minutes long.

Sound familiar? Even if it doesn’t, you have to admit the video is flat out AWESOME!

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What do you get when two dinosaurs and a pig get together? Lots of laughs and mass extinctions, of course!

Obviously this post has nothing to do with SitePoint Pty. Ltd. or SEO.com — or my associations with either company. What you are about to read are merely my personal opinions. Opinions, I might add, that have been based on the past few years as a member of various communities, rather than as a moderator or administrator. Just so we’re clear, these are my thoughts, okay?

Ban Self Promotional “Articles”

Have you ever browsed a thread on a forum only to see what looked like an informative thread title, or a thread that appeared to ask a question? Since it obviously piques your interest, you decide to click on the thread link only to stare down the face of the Beast itself — a poorly written article written by some self-proclaimed “marketing guru” trying to get you to buy their garbage. The vast majority of these threads are posted by people who have insanely low post counts (usually new “members”), so banning these types of threads (and warning/infracting/banning the people who post them as needed) will help cut down on the clutter and keep a forum clean.

Outlaw Non-Related Signature Links

You know what grinds my gears? No, it’s not when I can’t find those droids I’m looking for, but rest assured that is on the list. It’s seeing nonsense like “buy tramadol and viagra online” or “(username) on free credit repair” with links on the keywords they’re trying to target. Are they related to Web site design, development, and marketing? Information architecture, accessibility and usability, search engine optimization or even social media? Not just no, but Hell no!!! Get rid of them. If people don’t have to wade through post after post filled with nonsensical links that have nothing to do with the forum’s main topics of discussion, chances are they’ll be more likely to click on the links and possibly learn or find something useful.

Prohibit URL Shortened Links

While I value and appreciate people trying to save bandwidth and post space by using a URL shortening service like bt.ly or TinyURL, they have no place on a forum. The potential for abuse is far too great, especially by marketers looking to conceal an affiliate link, or miscreants trying to plant malware onto your computer. Like the old saying “show me the money” says — give me the link. I’ll decide if I want to click it or not, and I’m sure my members would too.

Restrict Access to Profile Links For New Members

I don’t know if you’ve heard of such “SEO link building services” such as those provided by Angela Edwards (I won’t link to her site) of “Angela’s and Paul’s Link Building Services” fame (or as I like to think of it, infamy), but it basically works by flooding blogs with comments and dropping links on forum profiles. What’s the best way to combat this? To use a blog commenting policy and to restrict access to forum profile links for new members. I don’t know what the ideal time limit or post count is — or the ideal combination of the two — but being able to link to your own Web site and social media profiles should be a privilege, not a right.

This is obviously just a small list of the things I’d not allow if I were to run my own Webmaster forum, but I do feel it would cut down on the number of spammers and people looking to hock their own refuse. What do you think? Would you add or change anything? Feel that I’m a crazed lunatic who needs to step away from the keyboard and do something far less dangerous, like safeguard America’s nuclear launch codes? Have your say in the comment area below. Just make sure you follow the rules, though.

While there are definatley people who need to be locked up for the common good, there are others who are falsely accused or wrongly arrested for crimes they did not commit. Such as the grandmothers who the RIAA wrongly accuse of copyright infringement, or the individual arrested due to a case of mistaken identity. And then you have those who literally go behind bars to raise money for charity. Like this guy:

Meet Clifford McKinney: MDA Jailbird

Clifford McKinney of Ypsilanti, Michigan is not your average American. He’s an entrepreneur, a small business owner, and a dedicated gamer. I know him from a tabletop miniature warfare game that we both happen to play when we have the chance called BattleTech. On 17 September 2009, he’s going to be “locked up for good” in a charitable fundraiser for the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) and Jerry’s Kids©. In order to be released on good behavior, he’ll need to raise bail and he needs your help!

Why Is Cliff Doing This?

Cliff’s goal is to raise $1,600 so he can send not one, but two kids to camp. MDA Summer Camps help to build bridges and tear down barriers for children with disabilities at no cost to their families. These outdoor camps provide a fun and safe experience for children from the ages of 6 to 17 with muscular dystrophy and other neuromuscular disorders. The camps also develop important life skills such as confidence, independence and social ability, while promoting an overall sense of great self-esteem and personal achievement. To quote the MDS Web site, campers often leave with a more positive outlook on life and take with them lasting friendships and memories.

How Can You “Bail Out” this Jailbird?

All you have to do is visit Cliff’s personal page on the MDS Lock-Up Web site before 17 September 2009 and click the button next to the promotional video. You’ll be taken to a secure Web page where you’ll be able to donate via credit card (no PayPal payments accepted; you can however use a PayPal debit or credit card if you have one). Your generous (and tax-deductable) donation will help families living in Cliff’s community and help guarantee him an “early release on good behavior”. Once you have donated, your name will be added to his list of contributers. I donated $50. How much can you spare?

Two men fighting over a wealthy woman for her heart (and a few other things) with giant metal steam-powered ‘Mech-like machines. What more can a guy ask for (other than the woman’s private phone number, of course)? Delightfully witty yet hilarious, “A Gentlemen’s Duel” is an action-packed sci-fi comedy set in the 19th century that pits a pompous and arrogant Frenchman, the Marquis Dubois, against a very tired looking yet deeply troubled Engishman named Weatherby.

The movie short begins with Weatherby being invited over for tea, only to have his dreams of courting the weathy beauty shattered by the appearance of the elitist Marquis Dubois. They quickly start fighting over what to serve — at first tea or coffee, followed by the Marquis’ suggestion of champaigne, which Weatherby quickly derides as the French recipe for romance. As it always appears to be, when two men are fighting over the love of a woman, it’s usually the woman who loses. In this case, her dignity as she gets assaulted from both sides (mainly by the frustrated Englishman and the flower pot that falls from the top of her estate) without either Weatherby or Dubois noticing.

After Weatherby challenges Dubois to the gentleman’s duel, the two men meet “on the field of honor”. Rather than selecting their weapons, walking ten or twenty paces and turning to shoot, they instead run off into the forest. The ground begins to shake, and then the forest gives way to two ornately decorated steam-powered ‘Mechs that appear to have been built with 19th century technology. The two machines stop and pop their hatches open so the two duelists can hurl insults at each other. Weatherby promises that the Marquis will trouble the lady no longer and calls him a scoundrel, while Dubois notes that his little dog, Fifi, can smell the fear… in your pants.

Then the battle begins. Weatherby tells the Marquis Dubois that his crotch-sniffing lackey will pay, then throws a busted Cupid statue at the Marquis’ ‘Mech. While Weatherby and Dubois are tearing the place apart, the butler is doing everything he can to protect the woman, even going so far as to block falling debris with a tiny umbrella. When he calls the duelists for tea, they depart their ‘Mechs in mid-battle, enjoy their break, and then quickly resume the fight.

After a “shocking” display of fortitude by Weatherby (and I do mean shocking, as in mutual electrocution via electric eel), the high-strung Englishman and his elitist French counterpart tear into each other’s ‘Mechs, causing a large explosion that destroys the courtyard in front of the woman’s mansion. The Marquis’ dog, Fifi, gets the last blow in as she gets shot from a cannon and lands on Weatherby’s face. She barks at him, then lifts her hind leg and does what all dogs do best — marks her territory. On his face. When the two men crawl out of their wrecked hulks, they notice the woman’s boot under a pile of rubble, and think that they both had killed her. So in typical cowardly fashion, they look at each other, decide that they don’t want to stick around, and get the hell out of Dodge.

The credits begin to roll, with Fifi wandering around the grounds, eventually making her way to the bushes near the forest. Some rustling is heard in the bushes, and as she looks up, the butler — wearing nothing but his tie — comes up with a heavenly grin on his face. He quickly notices the dog and throws a boot at Fifi, only to have the beautiful woman stand up, grab the butler by the tie, and pull him back down behind the bushes…

In the end, I guess you really can say that the butler did it… or her in this case. So, what do you think?

As always, thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.  Here’s the poem, titled “Change the World”.

You cannot change the world,
But you can present the world with one
Improved person - Yourself.
You can go to work on yourself and make
Yourself into the kind of person you admire
And respect.
You can become a role model and set a
standard for others.
You can control and discipline yourself to
resist acting or speaking in a negative way
toward anyone for any reason.
You can always insist upon doing things the
loving way.
By doing these things each day,
You can continue on your journey Towards
Becoming an exceptional human being.

Credit: Brian Tracy

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Episode I: Can’t Touch This Rap

For years, Anakin Skywalker had secretly participated in dance competitions when not tending to his duties as a Jedi Knight. After his turn to the Dark Side, the shows became another casualty of the Galactic Republic’s demise.

Darth Vader could not completely escape his past, however. In defiance of the Emperor, Lord Vader gathered his most loyal Imperial Stormtroopers and departed for a series of covert “training exercises”. One such “exercise” on Endor would eventually come back to haunt him.

Despite heavy security, a Rebel spy managed to secure this footage of Darth Vader and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers dancing to the ancient rap song “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer. Meanwhile, a young Luke Skywalker, on vacation from Tatooine, was busy practicing the Napoleon Dynamite dance nearby.

• You have tricked out Firefox with more extensions than there are tools in a Swiss Army knife.
• You can recite the lyrics to It’s All About the Pentiums and White and Nerdy without screwing up.
• You believe WordPress is the Firefox of open source publishing systems…
• … and don’t consider it to be a compliment.
• You know what R2-D2 really stands for.
• You ever turned an Xbox 360 into a Hackintosh.
• You know what a Hackintosh is.
• Your vehicle’s license plate number is B4TL T3CH
• You exchanged your wedding vows (or plan to) in Klingon.
• Only to have the preacher say “May the Force be with you. You may now kiss the bride.”

So, what Jeff Foxworthy redneck style geek jokes do you have?

Mom’s back in the hospital (yet again).  She has been since June 4th.  For legal reasons, I cannot go into detail as to exactly what happened, but needless to say, she has been on life support since that date.  I’m currently attempting to obtain health care and property power of attorney through the courts so her affairs can be tended to since she is no longer physically capable of doing so.  Mom’s cognitive abilities are still intact; it’s just her body that is failing her (despite the best efforts of the doctors, nurses and her own rock-solid force of will).

Obviously this can be excruciatingly hard on a family - my family is no exception, which is why I’ve been the one tasked with handling everything related to Mom’s medical care and legal needs.  I doubt she’ll be coming home any time soon, since the hospital is going to transfer her to a long-term acute care facility for further treatment and rehabilitation.  However, I will do my best to ensure that I can get back to a regular posting schedule, finish the redesign of this site, and honor my contractual obligations with my clients while caring for the rest of the family.

If you wish to comment, feel free to do so via the comment form below or through my contact page. I’d also appreciate any suggestions for future posts, so if you have any, don’t hesitate to tell me.

Are you ready?

I hope you are, because you’re about to get a whirlwind tour of the past few months of my life. Hang on, and follow me.

Needless to say, Mom’s home now, though she’s really not able to walk much (or very far). What used to take her a few seconds now takes minutes (for example, it takes her five minutes to walk from her bedroom door to the bathroom, and they’re right next to each other), she’s been diagnosed with “significant osteoperosis”, and is now taking more medication than you can choke the entire population of Hell with. Her medication has not been without side effects, of course. The drug interactions have left her feeling drowsy, affected her vision, and at times made it nearly impossible for her to write.

So I’ve been over here at her place helping to take care of her (she lives with my brother). The plan was to take care of her for one month (and train my brother in her proper care), with me “working” in the day and him taking over in the evenings. Right, like that was going to happen. He not only got a new girlfriend (with a child of her own), but due to circumstances beyond her control, lost her place and moved in with him. She’s working full time in another city, and trying to get everything else taken care of (including her own medical issues), which means she’s needed a babysitter to watch her son for her.

Yep, you guessed it - me

Not only am I helping out around the house (cleaning, laundry, cooking), taking care of Mom, but I’m also now watching the little rugrat full time - all while trying to fit in time to get my client work done so they don’t breathe down my neck. Needless to say, I’m exhausted. Things are starting to settle down though, so I’ll be heading home this upcoming weekend.

Did I mention my computers and my server are dead too? Yep, they’re paperweights. Ended up replacing them with a brand new Toshiba Satellite series notebook. 15.4″ (the largest that would fit in my computer case) with Windows Vista Home Premium - stop laughing - with a lot of features. Too many to list here, but I’ll do that later on when I have some time (or if you bug me enough in the comments). Anyway, it cost me $499.99 - free shipping, no taxes, and best of all, I got it just days before the price went up to $629.99. It’s essentially a desktop replacement laptop for the same price as the netbooks that are now hitting the market.

When Will Things Return to Normal?

Soon, I hope. I’ll be attending WordCamp Chicago this Saturday and Sunday, I’ve moved my WordPress Theme framework project to wpthemeworks.com (and am actively working on it), and am also working with two really wonderful SEO and Web development clients. My brother and his live-in girlfriend will be taking care of Mom for me (at least they better… or else) so I can head home, and I’m currently negotiating a contract with another prospective client. So expect to see me around online a lot more often, once these Web sites are finished.

Speaking of Web sites, yes I’m still working on the redesign for this site. I haven’t uploaded anything yet, since the changes will also be structural in nature (adding breadcrumbs, a page navigation system, and so forth), but work is resuming on it. You can see my current preview here if you like (or need a refresher). My Site’s New Look and Feel (WIP)

Well, that’s all for now. It’s almost 3 AM here, and I need to head to bed. Expect a blog post from me on Tuesday showing how NOT to market your services via email (especially when your “prospect” is really a competitor), and a new funny video on Saturday. Until then…

BUILDINGS were evacuated, a street was cordoned off and a bomb disposal team called in after workmen spotted a suspicious object.

But the dangerous-looking weapon turned out to be the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, made famous in the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail.

Police and a fire crew were first on the scene in Shoreditch, east London, when water company workers found a copy of the film prop under a fire hydrant cover.

They evacuated a pub and another building in Tabernacle Street, while office staff in another building were stopped from leaving.

But when the bomb squad arrived, they quickly established there was no danger and the street was declared safe. In the film, the grenade was used to slaughter a killer rabbit. Python actor Eric Idle had filmgoers in stitches as he said: “Oh Lord. Bless this hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.”

Alberto Romanelli, who owns the Windmill pub nearby, said the police action in ordering his pub to be evacuated had been as ridiculous as the film scene. “They evacuated the pub while they were doing X-rays and stuff,” he said.

When the situation was settled, the bomb squad did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats…

Source: http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23664399-details/article.do?ito=newsnow&